Let Them Say

This morning as i sat on the chair in my barbershop, and let my kinyozi do his job, i followed some of the conversations that were going on amongst the staff in the salon. I was not interested in the conversation as such and i did not take part in it; i only observed. Not because there was nothing i would have said. Just that i observed. Again i do not want to invade people's conversations. If they invite me i will throw in a piece of my mind.

So what's my point? I know there is always the temptation to get carried away in conversations and also get easily influenced by the thoughts and convictions of other people. Especially when you are around people who are assertive or people you respect. Well, its just a natural tendency and many times we even change our minds and our outlook on life after listening to people's conversations. Psychologists believe that even the most reserved person will have influenced 11,000 people before they die. I am a statistician but i do not want to go into the details of this figure. All i can say is that there is some truth in that.

Back to my kinyozi story. Without loss of generality the conversation was about family life and you can be sure some comments came with a lot of emotions, others with a firm finality. Sometimes people talk as though the world is coming to an end and unless you have the art of filtering information you will go with a different mindset and that can affect how you live thereafter. The interesting thing is that a similar conversation in another setting would be totally different and that means when people engage in a conversation, they are not setting rules with their words. As for me i simply see a conversation as a way of people expressing themselves and so whatever is said to me is opinionated and depends on how that person woke up in the morning. So i do not allow myself to be troubled by what people say.

Of course, through conversations you get to know other dimensions of life's issues that you had probably not taken into account. You get to hear what others think and this is important since healthy relationships happen when you get to know what others think and get to understand their feelings.The best lesson in life is learning how to get along with people. Why? Because every single person is a complex of their own and its hard to understand them fully or to agree with them always or to be happy with them always. Every human being have seasons in their lives. There is a time to love and a time to hate, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time for war and a time for peace. And the list is endless.

But the worst situation in life is when i fail to set my own priorities and fail to set the sail of my life so that i am easily swayed by the ideologies of other people and easily fit in their priorities. So when i find myself in a conversation, i like asking myself what's my purpose in the conversation. Sometimes a conversation can sway me. In fact sometimes i can choose,to move in the tempo and hue of a conversation just for fun or in the interest of keeping the conversation a little longer. But i don't think that my perception on life and my priorities should change every time i engage in a conversation. Life is meant to be forward moving and not cyclic. It ought to be well set and with direction. Every life is personal. Its family and society that are corporate and this is where you strike a balance.

My parting shot is that, conversations are good especially where we are in control of what we say, but more importantly when we understand who we are and where we are going. We are not all moving in the same direction and we do not all have the same goals in life so we do not have to necessarily agree on the way forward. I can assure you there are many times i have headaches, but let me say the next time i have a headache, it will not be because i was in a conversation and i'm confused about what direction to take for life. Do have many meaningful conversations and take care.