The Fundi Factor

I have one proposal to make to our beloved government as we look into the instruments of vision 2030. That they create a body that will regulate all fundis since these guys have proved over time that they can never regulate themselves. I am serious on this matter. And if possible let it be done this year and let it be fixed creatively within Michuki's docket.The first step in this should be to legislate a regulatory body that will be tasked to license all Fundis. Within this regulatory body which they can Call 'Fundis Regulatory Commission', there should be sub-departments like Department of Carpentry and Joinery,Department of Tailoring and Clothing, Department of Metal and Hard Stuff, Department of Leather and Leather Products to mention but a few. And then there should be a Complaints and Grievances desk which i'm sure will need quite a good number of staff. That way we will create jobs but more importantly save Kenyans from frustrations and uncalled for wastage of time and money that they have have had to endure in the hands of fundis.Some legal expert can help me how to frame this to make it fit within the context of county governments.

As i say this i register my sympathies to all beloved Kenyans who have had to do their weddings in unfinished attires or have had to buy ready mades on Saturday morning since the fundi has either done a shoddy job or is Mteja at the hour of reckoning. My heartfelt sympathies to all those who have had to get additional support to their bed, or table because they could not stand on their own and the fundi insists its your floor that is uneven. And how can i forget those who have had to wear slippers to work because the fundi disappeared with the only begotten shoe.The Kenyan definition of a fundi is someone who by their very nature forgets to use a tool at the right time and when they must use it, they have to use it wrongly. Someone must come to our aid.

I have had my own pretty measure of woes in the hands of fundis and i know i have swore many times never to ever get anywhere near a fundi except it be on family or religious grounds. I don't know how i always find myself occasionally looking for them. Its like the things i do not want to do are the things i find myself doing. This morning i got to work late after i had agreed with a fundi who was making some stuff for me that it will be ready at 7:30 a.m. and that i would just clear the balance and have it delivered to my house. That was after he failed to meet his Saturday last week deadline and an extended deadline of Monday evening. I had to extend the deadline to today evening and i hope this is the last time i'm doing this. I am not happy. Of course the justification of a fundi is far beyond question. He will tell you how he does not want to hurry and do a shoddy job; which is good enough. He will tell you how he wishes you were seeing things from his view and how letting a customer down has never been and will never be his portion. Actually when you are called customer, you are defeated by that love. I have never known why the name customer always finishes many people and makes them stop complaining. I mean, its like when you come home angry and you are called sweetheart. In many instances you are melted down. Of course it depends on how low your melting point is because many of us are more prone to boiling than to melting.

SO i have found many Kenyans boiling in the presence of Fundis. I once went to pick a suit that was being made for me by a Fundi in the City Centre, which became my last suit to be made locally, not because i do not want to promote local industries but because i do not want to lose my head in the process. So when i was there giving a piece of my mind to the fundi,a couple came to check their wedding attire for a wedding which was two days to come. I tell you it was fire. The clothes were not done and the bride was getting hysterical and the man had to prove he can handle situations like that even as he goes to marriage. The fundi would have been beaten properly if it were not for our intervention. Of course we were equally frustrated, only that we did not want another kind of post election violence.

So i hope this afternoon my piece of furniture will be done. I do not want to appear in the headlines for the wrong reasons. I am getting agitated and my beloved Kenyans, let me tell you i can boil and i boil violently. Somebody keep an eye on me and hold me fast if you do not see my hands in the pocket. I hope i will sleep counting my accomplishments and not my frustrations. Oh my, i hope this day is good. Someone tell that Fundi i don't tolerate any nonsense. I wish you all a lovely time and may God save us from the fundi agony that has caused so many tears and so many ulcers. Tunaomba serikali.